Denise M.
Sr Process Manager, Mars Inc.
“When I first started my coaching sessions with Vibha, I was not in a pretty place. I was frustrated that I couldn’t get to where I felt I deserved to be in the company I work for. I began doubting my own self-worth and capabilities. I was angry because I felt that I was being held back and pigeon-holed into a level below where I aspired to be. And, I was sad because all of this was making me feel as if I was never good enough, no matter what I did. All these career-driven emotions were also spilling over into my personal life as well, tainting everything. I was constantly on an emotional roller-coaster.
In the early weeks, Vibha had me focus on building my confidence back up. She had me list things I was good at and journal about what I was very confident about and what I didn’t feel confident about. She stressed that I do these activities so that when I focused on confidence, I do so with positive energy and intent and when I focused on those things I wasn’t confident about, to do so with neutral energy, stressing that we get back what we put out to the universe. It was not something I had really paid much attention to before. She also gave me some links to further these learnings.
We continued our work. We worked on emotional regulation, but unlike others who tried to get me to deny negative (“bad”) feelings, Vibha asked me to allow myself to accept whatever I was feeling, letting go of it and taking my power back when I was done. This attitude resonated more with me than blocking or locking those emotions away. It also validated that it is normal and ok to feel sad, bad, angry – we just shouldn’t dwell on it and live in that state, because that puts us into a state of negative energy.
She also asked me to list out what contributes to my misery at work and what I could do to address that. The benefits from this activity were 2-fold: one, I learned that if I cannot change it, I had to just let it go and focus on what I can change, and two, that the misery was really rather minor in comparison to the big picture of everything in my life.
In doing all of this she was setting the groundwork for me to learn to be kinder to myself; to treat myself with more self-care, as I would act towards a friend. This helped me to reverse the negative self-talk and energy and replace it with more positive, optimistic messages.
Six months later, I am in a much better place. I am empowered, believing in myself and my power and not letting others define this for me. I am stronger and more confident than before. I am stable and calmer; I am focusing on me and my well-being (meditating, exercising, etc.) rather than purely on achievement. I am happier and more content.”
